My Collar

I've been asked about my collar a couple of times. "That's pretty. What is it?"

Well, the short answer: A pretty chain with a small padlock on it.
The long answer: It's like a wedding ring, but a lot more intense.

An easier explanation would be to detail what my collar is NOT. It is not a sign that I am K's slave, it is not a mark of degradation, and it is not an invitation to disrespect. I am every bit K's equal; we just occupy different roles. And this collar binds him every bit as much as it binds me. I serve him, I clean his house and cook his food, I put him first in all things, and I devote myself to his needs. But in return, he devotes himself to my needs and puts me before himself. I would not be able to give such devotion if it wasn't reciprocated fully. I still command his unwavering respect and his deepest love. I would not be wearing this collar if I didn't.

So why do I wear it?

I'll admit, it started as a sex thing, yet another BDSM toy. From there we both considered locking it on when K leaves town, to keep me grounded in our marriage while he's gone. He put it on me for the first time on our honeymoon, so I slept in it and have only taken it off for a day or so since. I find that wearing it makes me feel even more secure and cherished, rather like having strong arms wrapped around me all day long. I also like the way it looks - might be a bit goth with my new black hair, but eh, usually it's a vintage goth.

I do have my own key to my collar, so I'm not imprisoned in it. I could remove it if I chose, which is what gives the collar its real meaning in my opinion. It's all about freedom - I can give myself to K because I remain fully my own to give. In that sense, this chain is a symbol of strength, not weakness, and of the deep trust we both have in each other. And that makes it the most beautiful piece of jewelry I own.