2008: The Recap

This time last year, K and I had just finished loading up our moving van, and we dressed in our empty apartment before heading to the Rustic, our favorite little den in Hollywood. We had a great evening saying goodbye to all our friends, belting out "Auld Lang Syne" before several tipsy hugs and kisses, and eventually made it home to crash on our bare mattress for a few hours before getting up at dawn. We finished loading up the truck as I threw together some hurried blackeye peas and cornbread, burning the blackeye peas in the distraction, and then our friend came over with donuts, coffee, and a replacement can of blackeye peas so we could be sure to have our New Year's feast. Some drama ensued in getting my car on the tow dolly, but by noon we were on our way out of Los Angeles for good.

It was the perfect start to one of the best years of my life. We had some ups and downs, but my first year in Portland has been a year of relative comfort, and of course there was K and I getting engaged and then married. I now have the rest of my life to look forward to, in the town I love, with my best friend by my side. We've enjoyed travel this year, both together and independently, and a lot of good food and fun times. I've made some new friends and become closer to old ones, my friends and family are all reasonably healthy, and even though the economy is bad we're all still under a warm dry roof. So thanks, 2008, you've been good to me.

2009 looks like it's off to a good start, though I can already tell it's going to be a strenuous one. We are bound and determined to be debt-free by this time next year, and in a house by October 1. It's going to take a hell of a lot of ass-busting to make this happen (especially from me since he makes way more than I do!) but it is for damn sure going to happen or else. I'm going to split my time between two or three clubs, finish my novel and hopefully publish it, and investigate a few fledgling ideas I have for business ventures. I'm also co-writing a cookbook so we'll see how that goes. Hold me to it!

New Year's Day 2009 looks like it'll find me in my favorite place in all Portland, our wonderful little titty bar, on the first day of our new Smoke-Free Oregon!! Yea!! I'm planning on bringing in blackeye peas with greens and turkey ham, and some honey cornbread on the side, just to share with the awesome ladies I work with. But that's tomorrow; at the stroke of midnight tonight I plan on quietly sipping bubbly here in front of the fire with my beloved. I can't imagine a better place to be.

Honeymoon

We wound up not being able to go to the coast due to closed or hazardous highways, and had to cancel our reservation. To compensate, we booked a room in downtown Portland and spent our Xmas there instead. The best feature of this room was our two-person Jacuzzi - I think three people would've comfortably fit in there; it even had seats inside - but it also had a massive comfortable bed, and a nice sitting area under a skylight that was covered in snow. When we arrived they had scattered pink rose petals all over the bed (which I've never had before) and left us champagne chilling in an ice bucket.

We took a lot of Lush baths in that tub. For Xmas Eve we had a lovely dinner at Urban Fondue, then enjoyed a nice French dessert wine in the bath, cocktailed with a Lush Pud bomb and a Creamy Candy bubble bar. We fell asleep watching A Christmas Story on TNT. The next morning there was even more fun times, of which I will spare you the details, plus a Lush bath of Haagenbaath and Candy Cane (chocolate peppermint bath, MMM) while we sipped poinsettas made with sparkling wine and sparkling cranberry juice. We had the worst breakfast experience ever at the Daily Grill (NOT recommended by me at all, at all), and enjoyed a nice walk around Portland, enjoyed some excellent Thai for dinner and a drink at Mary's, and another Lush bath with Chocolate Santa and the rest of the Candy Cane (double chocolate peppermint!). In the morning we had another bottle of champagne in the bath (whew) so we wouldn't have to take it home on the bus, with a beautiful purple-red Magic bomb in the tub. We didn't want to waste the rest of the nice French dessert wine, so we poured it into a disposable coffee cup - plastic lid and all - and went tipsy-shopping at Macy's, where I scored a 100% cashmere sweater for $39, marked down from $110!

Now we're back home again. Last night I made grownup mac and cheese with whole wheat rotini and my nutritional yeast Dijon cheese sauce, mixed with baby spinach and butter-fried shallots and garlic, topped with cheddar, Emmentaler, and feta cheese. For tonight I have Tex-Mex spiced beefy bean soup in the crockpot, and I'll probably make cornbread to go with it. We were going to run some errands today, but eh fuck it, it's raining and I do have things to do. I bought plenty of yarn last night to make a nice scarf for myself and a scarf and hat set for K. Got my first set of circular needles and moving up in the world to hats! I'll be an expert knitter someday yet! (But I clearly still have a lot to learn.)

I did receive my collar on Xmas Day as well. I haven't taken it off since (I can't, it locks with a key) and its heavy weight is oddly soothing. It's definitely a constant reminder of my submissive wifeyness, which doesn't sound like a good thing in this day and age but it makes me happy to be his.

We don't have New Year's plans yet, but I'm looking forward to celebrating one full year in Oregon! It's definitely been the best year of my life. Here's looking forward to many more, just as happy.

Snowed In.

It's been fun. I'm kind of done. If I didn't have anywhere to go, this snow would be a great time. But I do, and I'm snowed in. You see my car here - there's no going anywhere. I was supposed to work a day shift but I had to give that shift away, because I didn't trust my car over the bridges, and the buses aren't running right. Fortunately a friend was available to cover my shift because she can't fly out of the airport. It's Arctic Apocalypse 2008!

We were supposed to leave for our honeymoon on the Oregon coast on Wednesday, to be gone for the Xmas weekend. Looks like that isn't going to happen. So instead we will either go a day early and be there tomorrow, or skip it and find a place in Portland. I'd rather go to the coast tomorrow, but I'm very nervous. I hope we make it there all right.

This morning once it became apparent that I wasn't going to make it to work, K made spiced whole-wheat waffles with maple-brandy syrup and brandied peaches. It was delicious! For dinner I sauteed our butternut squash gnocchi in butter and sage. Next time I think we'll serve the gnocchi in butternut squash sauce, heavily spiced and served with a salad. Sounds delicious to me.

We're having a happy Chanukah. For the first night we did homemade veggie-feta latkes with potatoes, turnip, sunchokes, kohlrabi, and carrots, served with homemade applesauce. We'll probably do that again for eighth night. It beat the holy hell out of regular latkes.

So, either I'll post tomorrow that our honeymoon was postponed, or I'll post when we get back about how awesome it was, or I'll never post again because we'll be mortally wounded somewhere in the Oregon timber forests. Here's praying it's the middle option.

The Perfect Day

Woke up this morning to a steady, gentle snowfall and a white world. We decided not to chance the streets, so we bundled up in all our layers and walked to the bus stop, headed for the last farmer's market. The bus was an hour late, but we spent the time frolicking in the snow and watching cars lose traction on the hill. We'd just given up on the bus and were going home to make waffles when the bus showed up and granted all of us a free ride.

When we got to the farmer's market, there was only one stand open; they'd cancelled the market. So we bought a bag of shallots and two small butternut squashes just to say thanks to the diehards, and hopped the streetcar to Trendy-Third (NW 23rd Ave., where hipsters reign supreme). We had mediocre overpriced Japanese food for lunch and I enjoyed a minor shopping spree at Lush. By then the snow was a few inches deep and made whispery puffs around my feet as I walked, and I had fun playing in it as only a Southern gal can.

We took the streetcar to Powell's and roamed the books, then bought beeswax Chanukah candles and Emmentaler cheese at Whole Foods, sampling their clementines and caramel apple dip while we were there. From there we walked to Mary's - Portland's oldest and greatest little titty bar - to say hello to a friend of mine, but she wasn't able to make it to work that day because of the weather, so we roamed Chinatown and downtown, caught the bus home, and made it home just as the snow and wind were getting nasty.

I had a hot bath and we snacked on homemade cranberry-orange bread, toasted and buttered, with mugs of hot buttered rum (I made the butter-batter last night from a recipe in the Portland Mercury, and it's quite good in my opinion, though K didn't care for it). After a bit of relaxation, I whipped up dinner: tomato-lentil soup with the leftover Cornish game hen shredded and stirred in, along with carrots, baby spinach, artichoke hearts, garlic, and a shallot, and honey cornbread on the side. I've been experimenting with cornbread recipes but tonight I threw this one together and am proud to say I have finally, at long last, nailed cornbread! We had our soup and cornbread by a hot-popping fire, and now we're sipping an amazing burgundy by that fire, listening to the wind howling as it blows the snow against our shaking windows. I'm glad to be in tonight.

I'm pretty content.

It's been a week of snow, and ice, and learning the bus system, and blasting space heaters, and watching the birds fight over the food on my balcony. I've learned to layer up properly, and I've come to love the sight of snow dolloped heavily on the holly branches like holly a la mode. I dyed my hair black and I love it. Today I went out to Stark Naked Pizza for lunch with sponge-curled black hair and my vintage coat with fur collar and a long ruffled skirt, and that made me happier than it should have.

This morning, K flew home. I wasn't comfortable driving on the ice, so he cabbed it home, and I met him at the door in my pink bustier with black lace and thong, stockings with garters and pumps, makeup and jewelry and scent. I took a Lush bath so I was silky and vanilla-scented, did my nails pink and all. We had three or four rounds of porn-sex - you know, the kind of sex where you change position a lot and there's tons of screaming, and grunting, and filthy talk - before we were ready for lunch and errands.

We had an afternoon nap, and for dinner I made Cornish game hens with a lemon-garlic gravy, herbed mashed root vegetables, and a spinach salad. After dinner K made gin martinis and now I'm curled up in front of a warm crackling fire sipping my martini while K snores softly on the couch. I tried to put him to bed, but he said he'd rather snooze on the couch next to me than go to bed alone. So now I'm just killing my gin and letting the fire burn down.

Life is good. I'm well-fed, well-laid, and in love. I couldn't be happier.

Snowstorm!

I've never seen a snowstorm before, so even though I knew there was going to be heavy snow, I'm still in awe of what I've seen today. I woke up to a winter postcard, thick snow gently falling into a fluffy blanket over the world. One of my hummingbirds has spent most of the day huddled, fluffy and thick, on the feeder, where he's mostly out of the wind. Periodically he has to fend off advances from another hummingbird who wants his spot, so I've been watching hummingbird fights most of the day.

I refilled the birdseed feeder, popped up some popcorn and sprinkled it on the balcony for the jays and crows, put 13-bean and barley soup in the crockpot, and got all beautiful for work. I was excited to finally break in my new Santa stripper outfit, so I did my face up in green glitter eyeliner and red lipstick, packed my bag and headed for work. Thus began some of the most terrifying thirty minutes of my life. By then the snow was falling so hard it was difficult to see, and the streets are one big skating rink. I made it less than half a mile from my apartment before my little car got stuck on the ice. Any attempt to move resulted in loudly spinning wheels but no motion; any time I let up on the brake, I would just roll backward. Trying desperately not to panic, I put on my hazard flashers and called K, but before he could tell me what to do, three very nice young men pulled over to help me. Cheerfully complaining about how hard it was to get traction on the ice, they pushed me until I moved again, and advised me not to try to go further because the roads were even worse up ahead. So I turned around and somehow made it home, white-knuckling the wheel and reciting every prayer I knew.

By the time I made it home, the snow had increased into a fullblown storm. I considered taking the bus to work, but it's Sunday so the bus service isn't optimal, and I worried about getting home safely in the dark through all this snow and ice. So, reluctantly, I called off. I'm disappointed because I was really looking forward to breaking in my new Santa suit on a snowy day, but I have to think about my safety first. So I took a bunch of pictures in my Santa suit - I wanted to take some out on the balcony in the snow, but the neighbors were out and I am shy - and now I'm going to spend the day doing some holiday baking and then knitting by the fire while I watch the snow fall. At present we have over six inches of accumulation outside and it's still coming down!

I like snow a lot better when I'm safely indoors. Thank goodness I stocked up on everything yesterday!

Shopping!

I did my holiday shopping and my grocery shopping at the same time today, stocking up on goodies and gifts at the farmer's market, the co-op, the yarn store, the supermarket (ugh), Trader Joe's, and Limbo. I still have some knitting and baking to do this week but it looks like a merry Christmas (and happy Chanukah) is in the works!

The farmer's market was amusing this morning. I got up early and bundled up - I even wore my white knit hat. Cold rain was drizzling on everything, but this being Portland, everyone was still out, pink-cheeked and happy to be alive. I sampled the goodies, shopped my heart out, and had a crumbly artichoke-cotija tamale with hot salsa for breakfast. The rain here is so clean and steady, it doesn't get us down. It was still packed at the farmer's market and there was something so beautiful about the rain dripping on all those muddy vegetables.

It's supposed to snow tonight and all day tomorrow, and possibly Monday too. Temperatures on Monday night are dropping down to 15 Fahrenheit. Effing COLD. Even the high on Monday is supposed to be 24. Tomorrow we're looking at a high of 30 and around five inches of snow accumulation. I would be thrilled, except I have to work a day shift tomorrow, which means I get to go out and drive in all that snow, and then drive home again in the dark on frozen streets. That's fucking scary. Maybe I should take the bus.

So I'm making 13-bean soup in the crockpot tomorrow; that way at least I'll have hot soup to come home to. Monday I'll be a baking fool and Tuesday (hopefully) I'll send gifts out. Tonight I'm going to eat the rest of last night's chili and watch a movie or two while I knit. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

No Biggie.

Just wanted to blog since I haven't in a few days. I haven't been cooking much since I'm all alone and stuff, but today I whipped up a vegetable stir-fry for lunch and put turkey chili in the crockpot. The chili's pretty simple - ground turkey, onion, pinto beans, black beans, corn, some tomato sauce, tamari, red wine vinegar, and cumin - but it should have one hell of a kick because I threw in a dried habanero AND a dried cayenne. Those dried habaneros pack a hell of a punch, so this should be some nice hot chili!

On my way to the yarn store and I think I'll go for a nice walk. It was dark and raining all morning, but now it's sunny and perfectly beautiful out. There are two hummingbirds on my feeder and everything is clean and sparkly from the rain. A walk would do me a world of good, I think.

Tonight I'm going out with a bunch of strippers and ex-strippers to go see other strippers. Sounds like the beginning of a joke. I'm looking forward to it though, I've been cooped up too much this week working on a treatment for my screenplay. I need to get out and let loose a bit!

Kitchen Therapy

I'm feeling better today. I was going to get up early, but I slept until almost 11 a.m. and woke up feeling so refreshed that I knew I'd needed the sleep badly. After coffee I went out to run errands. It was a crisp, beautiful sunny day so I wore my favorite green sweater to the bank, the co-op, and the grocery store. Then I came home and spent the rest of the afternoon cooking.

I made three loaves of honey-wheat bread with flaxseeds and sesame seeds, brushed with melted butter. I should've kneaded them longer but I was distracted with the next project, so they're a bit dense but they taste good. I just had two thick slices for dinner... good stuff. Next time I'll add more seeds.

Next came paprika-cheese cookies. I wanted to make cheese straws, but I don't have a cookie press, and I couldn't get the dough to hold together well enough to make twists (next time I'll add an egg). So I rolled out the dough and cut it into little circles, sprinkled it with paprika and baked it up crispy. These I had to put in a bag straightaway because I couldn't stop nibbling at them. They're so good! What is is about cheese that's so addictive?

On a healthier note, the next up was a fat-free, no-sugar-added "cookie" that I made to use up four blackened overripe bananas. These little drop cookies contain nothing but the bananas, my friend's chunky applesauce leftover from Thanksgiving (thank you), dried cranberries, walnuts, oats, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, and cloves. They're deliciously chewy and seriously addictive. I had to put those away in a hurry too.

After that I made savory pie crust that I can use to make quiche later on when I want to. It's a whole-wheat crust with rosemary, nutmeg, and cheddar cheese, and it should go really well with the pumpkin quiche recipe I recently discovered. I made enough for two crusts and put them up separately in the freezer.

Now I'm running the dishwasher and thinking I'll put up a couple of sweet pie crusts too before I go to bed. I'm thinking a sweet crust with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves so I can do a holiday pie when K comes home or when our friend comes to visit in January - or both, it makes two crusts after all. So yeah, I'll whip that up and then have a hot bath and go to bed at a reasonable hour, or maybe knit a little more since the scarf is coming along so nicely.

Then in the morning I have to figure out what to do with this gigantic pile of bread and snackies.

When life gets me down...

I bathe. A hot bath seems to fix everything, especially if it has some Lush in it. I've had a miserable day ever since last night, and today was one of the worst of my stripping career. I don't think stripping is inherently degrading to women; most of the time I love this job and I find it wonderfully empowering. But then you get a day like today, and yeah, getting naked for less than minimum wage while the scum of the earth leers at you calling, "Hey bay-bee, I'm broke but you sure are beautiful, come talk to me!" - Yeah. That's fucking degrading all right.

I took my turns onstage and spent the rest of my shift in the dressing room. I just couldn't handle sitting out there talking to those vermin. Who the hell goes to see strippers when they can't afford to tip? That's the same thing as a dine-and-dash. If you go to the restaurant and eat the food, pay for the fucking meal. And if you go watch the pretty girls, tip them. I mean duh, you should have learned this in kindergarten.

I just have too much going on in my life right now to deal with this kind of shit at work. It's not about the money, it's about the manners. Of course I need money but the wearying thing about these assholes is that it's just fucking rude and mean to leer at me, expect me to get naked for you (I mean honestly, look at yourself, these guys are all hideous), and then tell me I should shut the fuck up and do it for free. On the wrong day, and when all these guys come out at once like they did today, that is emotional brutality.

So I'm going to have a nice long bubble bath with one of my Lush bars. And then I'm going to watch something sad and have a good cry, and knit this scarf for K, and I'm going to bed for a good night's sleep, and then I'm going to get up tomorrow and bake all day. I think I'm going to make a bunch of pie crust just to stock it up in the freezer, and bake some kind of bread (I want to beat and knead something for awhile), and make some cookies and probably some other stuff too. Perhaps some pumpkin bread. Hopefully by this time tomorrow a little bath-and-kitchen therapy will have done the trick and I'll be back to my usual cheerful self again.

Impulsive Gardening

Thought I'd like to have some soup today for an early dinner before I go to work. So I was peeling garlic, and I had a few large, leathery cloves with green shoots growing from the middle. "Ew," thinks I, realizing these are better for planting than eating. I was just about to throw them away when I remembered reading once that garlic likes to be planted in late autumn, so I went outside on the balcony and found a pot that was still full of dirt and the dead roots of a basil plant the cold killed a few months ago. I pulled the dead basil roots out and stuck four garlic cloves in the pot. (I'll probably have to cull a couple of them if they all sprout, it's too small for them to grow... on the other hand, yum, baby garlic!) Giggling at this silly impulse, I watered it and left it sitting in the sun. If it works they should sprout in the spring.

Impulsive December Gardening over, I washed my hands and went back to my soup. Garlic, onion, celery, carrot, cabbage, barley, lentils, pureed cherry tomatoes, a dried habanero, various seasonings... should be pretty good. I've got some leftover roast beef to cut up and stir into it when it's ready.

Working tonight. I don't often do night shifts, so I'm a bit nervous. I've got a new outfit to break in though. Here's to tipping your friendly local strippers.

Portland Veggie Au Gratin

That's what I'm calling this, because I never heard of half these vegetables and ever since moving to Portland I'm addicted to them.

So I went a little nuts at the farmer's market on Saturday and I had a lot of veg around. I went to the gym this morning and felt like making a really good, cheesy, stick-to-your ribs lunch, so I started looking for something to do with these sunchokes I picked up. A lot of recipes were for au gratin sunchokes, and I was just thinking about a Jamie Oliver recipe involving potatoes and celeriac, so I decided to just throw everything into a big damn au gratin dish.

For your enjoyment, here's how I did it. Feel free to substitute whatever veggies you think would be good (damn, I just remembered I have some cauliflower in there too that would've been good in this... oh well, next time). If all you have available is conventional supermarket veg, try potatoes, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, or any combination. Even onions would be good here! And now, here's mine...

1 small celeriac root, peeled and sliced
3 small kohlrabi, peeled and diced
3 small potatoes, peeled and sliced thin
1/2 pound (I think) sunchokes (aka Jerusalem artichokes), scrubbed and sliced (do not peel!!)
3 baby leeks, thoroughly washed and sliced

Put all the veg except the leeks into a big pot and add just enough cold water to almost cover. Salt it, bring it up to a boil, and simmer for five minutes. Give the leeks another good wash in the colander, and when the veggies are ready, drain it all into the same colander so the heat from the root veg steams the leeks just a bit. Leave it to keep draining and steaming while you make the cheese sauce. Preheat the oven to 350 F (170 C) and start the water boiling in the bottom of a double boiler or a small pot (see below).

In a bowl, whisk together:

1/2 cup nutritional yeast
1/8 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 Tbsp potato starch (or corn starch, or arrowroot powder)
1 tsp vegetarian chicken broth powder (optional)
Sprinkling of salt to taste (I hate it so I don't use much, just the slightest dash)
Paprika to taste (I love it, so it was probably almost a teaspoon's worth)

Once it's all mixed well, whisk in one scant cup of water, and keep whisking it until it's all well-blended and there are no lumps. I know this is probably starting to sound creepy here, but bear with me, this makes one hell of an awesome vegan cheese sauce. Pour this into the top part of a double boiler, or into a small pan you can hold over a pan of boiling water. Cook the sauce, stirring constantly, until it starts to thicken up (just a couple of minutes) and remove it from the heat. If you want you can add a little butter while you're cooking it (I did, but only a little pat).

Once it's off the heat, stir in a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of mustard - spicy mustard is good here if you have it. Add a big dollop of milk, soymilk, or cream. I had some whipping cream left over from Thanksgiving, so I used that. Check the taste here and see if you want to season it; I added some chili powder. Transfer the veggies to a big bowl, pour the sauce over it, and mix it all up. Pour it all into a casserole dish, smooth it mostly flat, and grate some good sharp cheddar cheese over the top. Sprinkle it with a little paprika if you want it to look pretty, and bake at 350 F (170 C) for 20-30 minutes until the cheese is bubbling and browned.

If you're vegan, leave out the butter and cheese and use soymilk. It's good that way too and the nutritional yeast sauce really tastes just like cheese!

So that's my lunch. It's been cooking while I type this and just came out of the oven. So delicious. Definitely worth doing again, I love all these flavors with the cheese!

Thanksgiving Weekend!

My very sexy female friend came to visit for Thanksgiving weekend, so I've been a bit busy. We drank a bit too much wine, we relaxed by the fireplace, we made out a bit (but not nearly enough), I gave her a lot of lapdances, we ran all over Portland and saw everything from punk ducks to fire strippers, and best of all, we made the most delicious vegetarian Thanksgiving ever. For the main dish we made roasted vegetable cornucopias, stuffed with zucchini, shiitake mushrooms, baby carrots, parsnips, and turnip, tossed with the most deliciously rich vegetable gravy. To round it out I made my rummy sweet potatoes (lesson learned: do not use cheap rum), cornbread dressing, and corn casserole; my friend made incredible steamed green beans with fried shallots and a Dijon vinaigrette, as well as the best cranberry sauce I've ever had. Dessert was chocolate-hazelnut pie with brandy whipped cream.

The next day my husband made us vanilla waffles topped with brandy peaches in brandy-maple syrup, topped with the rest of the brandy whipped cream, and as we ate we decided to go whole hog and put brandy in our coffee too, with a little hazelnut milk. NOT what you want to eat before you go to work and dance all day, but thanks to my friend it was the most fun I've had at work in a long time. While we were there, K stocked me up on Lush at the Black Friday sale, so I'm fixed for decadent baths for a little while!

Proud of another dish too and just have to share; I took my friend's delicious homemade chunky applesauce and stuffed it into little sweet dumpling squash, roasted with a little maple syrup and cinnamon. This was intended to be a Thanksgiving dessert but we were too full, so it was Saturday's breakfast instead. I was amazed at how filling it was. If you see sweet dumpling squash - they look like miniature pumpkins, white with green stripes - buy them up. They have a very creamy honey flavor and they're so pretty too!

Yesterday I had to take my friend and K to the airport so they could both leave me here alone. Dropped her off first and then we had half an hour to kill, so we pulled into the cell phone waiting area to hang out. It was about 6 a.m. and still dark, and we all know I love the pre-dawn, so of course that turned into a makeout session. I haven't made out in a car in a parking lot since high school (of course back then I did it all the time), and I have to admit the airport police cruising by now and then made it hotter. I HAD to take it a step further, so K held my hair as I sucked him off. I went gently at first but by the end of it he was pulling my hair and loudly fucking my face while the airport police SUV's cruised behind us, and when he came down my throat I knew this was way better than high school. Then I dropped him off for his flight and came home to work on the novel, which is not finished (sadly) but still making excellent progress.

Today I'm running some errands, cleaning up and resting, eating the Thanksgiving leftovers. Going to swing by the yarn store and get started on learning to knit, which is exciting to me. I'm under orders to get a collar - whoa, big step, but a good one - and I haven't quite decided on which one to get yet. I think I'll go for a delicate jewelry-type one with some links we can hitch wrist cuffs to later. And so decadent Thanksgiving gives way to bondage Christmas...

Sunday Morning Going Up

(with apologies to Johnny Cash)

I woke up laughing this morning. It was still dark, that hushed pre-dawn quiet when it feels like the world is holding its breath, and nothing is moving outside my snug warm bed. I was tightly wrapped in K's arms, my back against his chest with his beard against my cheek. He was already awake so he laughed too when I burst into laughter and woke myself up from a ridiculous dream I was having.

We had warm slow morning sex and then, sufficiently perked up, bundled up against the chill and went out just as the sun was beginning to lighten. After a stroll down Hawthorne we read the paper over milky hot coffee at a cheerful little cafe, then stopped by the Waffle Window for a $4 pumpkin pie waffle. This dense, crispy confection was sprinkled hot with just enough sugar to enhance the crunch, topped with a thick slab of cold fresh pumpkin pie filling, scooped with real whipped cream and drizzled with caramel. Much more dessert than breakfast, but what the hell. It's a special Sunday.

By the time we got home, the sun was shining so we took a stroll to the produce stand for a quick restocking, and picked aromatic wild rosemary along the way home. Now it's noon and I'll be writing by the window on this chilly, bright autumn afternoon... after we dip our grilled cheese sandwiches (Tillamook sharp cheddar on whole grain flaxseed bread) into leftover tearjerker-spicy lentil rice soup.

Happy Sunday. It's beautiful to be in Portland.

Found a successful reward system.

For the second year in a row, I'm doing National Novel Writing Month. I'm behind. I spent most of last year behind too and still finished my 50,000-word first draft in a month, so all is not lost, but I need to catch up with my slow-going novel. Last night I was trying to write, but I was distracted. K was sitting across the room in all his sexiness, reading on the couch, and I just couldn't focus.

So I got up and climbed on him, and he put his book down. We made out and eventually that turned into the kind of good hard breast-groping grind they never let me do in Portland. And yeah, I'm easy - before long I was shuddering with the kind of orgasm that leaves me completely limp. And there we are with all our clothes on. So I go in for another kiss...

And he pulls back, twists my arm behind my back and holds me away. "What's your word count?" he whispers, sotto voce.

"About twenty-four thousand."

He twists my arm a little tighter and slides me off his lap. "Get to twenty-six thousand," he says, "and maybe we'll see if you've earned it." A minute later he's back in his book and I'm back at my computer, furiously tapping away.

I got to 26,006 words very quickly, and it's not bad what I wrote. He did take me to bed after that and plowed me until I screamed. I love it when he makes me scream... not that it's that hard for him to do.

We'll have to see if that works to get my word count up tonight, although I do have to go hit up some clubs and audition for a new place to work tonight. Fuck this economy, right? Anyone who's reading this, go out tonight and throw down some money on your friendly local strippers. We're taking a much harder hit than the auto and bank industries, and nobody's bailing us out. If you don't go tip the naked ladies there will be no more naked ladies, so get out there and spice it up.

Sweet Potato Croissants

This morning for breakfast I made these sweet potato croissants and sliced up a pink pearl apple and a gala apple to go with them. I think I overworked the dough so they were kind of dense like rolls, but they tasted delicious, especially fresh out of the oven. A little fresh-ground coffee with hazelnut milk starts the day off right.

In other news, looking for a new strip club as my one shift a week at Portland's awesomest titty bar isn't quite paying the bills. Auditions, auditions... ugh! Gotta keep eyes on the prize though, so that next year I can be in my own little cottage with my organic vegetable and herb garden and a couple of chickens. I've been following the urban chicken movement and am really looking forward to adding a few hens to the family, yes, smack-ass in the middle of Portland. That's why I moved to Portland; this town is kooky enough that doing that kind of thing isn't even kooky. We have organic chef strippers who vote for Ron Paul and write novels. Well, one, anyway.

I recently picked up a copy of Jamie Oliver's new book, "Jamie At Home." Since I don't have a TV I have not been familiar wth the Jamie Oliver phenomenon, but right now I want to have his babies (sorry, hubby). This book - if you have ever even remotely considered the "delicious real food vs. tasteless corporate factory food" dichotomy then this book is for you. I want to buy a copy for everyone I know. What the hell, the holidays are coming. If I can get a job I just might.

I'm back for real this time.

Again with the Associated Press thing. I've missed this blog for the past few months and finally decided there's no time like the present to return to it. Especially for a blog dedicated to the best of home-cooked food and sex, because today is all about both.

My husband is coming home after over a month away. He travels for work a lot, and whenever he comes home he gets whatever he wants to eat. This time he asked for a steak, and I'm really proud of the menu I've assembled. London broil has been marinating for five days in a mix of balsamic vinegar and A-1 with toasted sesame oil and various spices; tonight I'll spread it with a paste I made last night out of freshly roasted garlic and olive oil before I broil it to medium-rare. I'm also mashing sweet potatoes with hazelnut milk and toasted sesame oil, and a baby spinach salad with toasted hazelnuts and dried cranberries. Glass of shiraz will round it out - at least for me, he may want Jameson's on the rocks with his, whatever he wants.

For dessert I whipped up a maple pumpkin pie with a from-scratch whole wheat butter crust. The top cracked; I think I cooked it about five minutes longer than I should have, but it should still taste good. I also made maple whipped cream to go on top, and I have a lovely chilled 1997 port to enjoy with dessert. I think for dessert we should make a fire in the fireplace and kick back in our jammies. I have a new long satin black nightgown with a matching robe and it makes me feel like Rita Hayworth.

I think after dessert we'll break out a Lush massage bar and see where that goes.

Before dinner though, there's a bit of catching up to do. I sense BDSM in my immediate future. He's taking a very Dominant role of late, which I love since I tend toward the very submissive in my relationships with him. I used to be a professional Dominatrix myself but I feel so much more content in the submissive role with my husband. And I can tell I'm definitely in for some punishment. Hopefully the promise of dinner will keep it from being too bad.

And Papa Tomato says, "Ketchup!"

I haven't posted in awhile because I got this stupid idea that whatever I posted here had to be newsworthy. This is a BLOG, ferfucksake. So I'm blogging just for the everliving hell of it.

I worked for a month at a vegan strip club. Only in Portland. Unfortunately I don't think that club will be there much longer, so go check out the freak show while it lasts. At the moment I'm between clubs and putting together a feature show that involves erotic dance (with or without the striptease, depending on the venue) in my bare feet on broken glass. Think I can lie down and roll around on it too but I want to test that first to be sure. So keep your eyes peeled for that; I expect to be performing by the end of April.

On the food front, I've gone vegetarian. I was still eating a little meat every once in awhile, but it makes me feel all blargh afterward and I don't really enjoy it as much as I enjoy veggie foods. If you live in Portland and you haven't discovered Limbo Inc. yet, you absolutely need to.

I have no idea if anyone actually reads this blog or not, but if you do I'd appreciate a note at stsensuality@gmail.com because right now I sort of feel like I'm talking to myself. Maybe I should just save it for MySpace, I don't know. I'd especially enjoy a recommendation on a good swanky restaurant in Portland, preferably one with great food and a decent wine list.

Oh, speaking of wine, let me drop another plug for Hip Chicks Do Wine. Excellent little boutique winery with events and fucking awesome wine, including the best chardonnay I've ever had.

I'm going to blog more often and stop treating this blog like it's the Associated Press. I think.

Hammy's Pizza: F* your Papa.

Your Humble Narrator (YHM) prefers to cook her own food. There's nothing better than slicing fresh veggies, frying garlic in olive oil, seeing the contentment in other people's eyes when they bite into some nutritiously decadent treat that was a raw and dirty heap of ingredients only an hour before. Restaurant meals are nice once in awhile, but YHM is usually regretful when the check comes, because it only serves as a reminder of how much more pleasant and inexpensive it is to cook at home. I also like my own food better because I can make it just the way I like it.

Still, occasionally it becomes inconvenient to cook. At the moment I'm sick, due to my first real winter in years; I'm originally from the South and have spent the past five years in tropical Australia and Los Angeles, so I'm stoned on cold and allergy meds only three weeks into my new life in Portland. I did whip up a mighty fine soup the other night from fresh garlic, onion, cabbage, carrot, potato, and lentils in a broth based on red wine and vinegar... but mostly I just want someone else to fuel me up so I can sleep off the drugs.

So this is the time for a restaurant review, and what better candidate than Hammy's Pizza? They're famous in Portland for delivering pizza until 4 a.m. (and starting in time for early lunch, too). With hours like that they could just as easily deliver Totino's Party Pizza to late-night stoners and still turn a tidy profit, but instead they're kneading excellent crusts from scratch and topping it with fresh, seasonal ingredients from local sources. Their sauce is transcendent, smooth and thick, oozing from under the cheese with a decadence that belies its nutritional value. And thank G-d for real vegetables! Where the chains will serve you a "veggie pizza" with onions and canned mushrooms in place of genuine produce, Hammy's will offer you anything you want. Artichoke hearts? Pine nuts? Eggs? No problem. All fresh and all there, piled so high that even the smallest slice requires two hands for balance to keep it all off your lap.

All the pizzas at Hammy's are also available as calzones, folded into a crust as simultaneously dense and flaky as Britney Spears. You do have to ask for dipping sauce (unfortunate - with a calzone that should be a given), but the cheerful, efficient service makes up for that. In the late night Hammy's delivers almost everywhere in Portland and still somehow manages to do it all quickly. So if it's pizza you want - and let's face it, everyone alive wants pizza as often as we can get it - Hammy's is one of the few restaurants that does it better than homemade. Eff your Papa. Call the place with the silly name instead.

The Obligatory Introduction

After much endless musing, I finally decided it was time to get off my ass and start a blog. I'm something of a sensualist and I enjoy the small moments in life, hence the title Small-Time Sensuality (with groveling apologies to Bjork). You can expect to find topics in that vein fairly regularly here, dealing mostly with food, drink, sex, the sex industry, and politics.

Food and drink mostly refers to cooked meals from fresh ingredients, preferably (but not always) local and organic. We eat well around here. Coffee is freshly ground, wine is savored regularly, and most of the food is vegetarian but quality meats aren't out of the question once in awhile. I enjoy cooking, and talking about it when I'm not hungry. As I've just moved to Portland with my gorgeously sexy partner K (and neither of us knows this town very well), you'll probably find some restaurant and bar reviews here too.

As for the sex industry, I've taken a keen interest in it since I was a small child but I waited until I finished my Master's degree and worked over a year in a low-paying grunt career in the film industry before I actually became a stripper. It has its highs and lows, but I do feel privileged to be a part of our country's wackiest fringe sisterhood. You might find some posts about work here, as well as coverage of any sex-related sociopolitical issues.

And because I'm opinionated and can't keep my mouth shut, look for political posts every once in awhile too. 2008 promises to be a fascinating year in that regard.

So welcome to Small-Time Sensuality. Bookmark it and check back often!