Picnic PITA, with a salad.

K is coming home today for another trip! So we're picnicking once I pick him up from the airport. He asked for sandwiches with mozzarella, and a green salad, and fruit. So I made a sandwich I made last year, which I like to call Pain In The Ass (PITA) Sandwich because it takes all day. It's worth it though.

I made a round loaf of spinach bread with garlic and pine nuts in it, and sliced it in half horizontally to make one huge sammy. Scooped out some of the bread from the middle to hollow it out a bit (will make bread crumbs out of the hollowed-out part for cooking with later). One half I spread with olive tapenade from Trader Joe's, and the other half with a homemade pesto (tons of fresh basil, garlic whistles, pine nuts, and olive oil with a little cheese). I sliced up a small eggplant, a zucchini, and a pattypan squash, brushed them with olive oil, and grilled them in the broiler; while they cooked, I sliced a baby Walla Walla onion from my garden and caramelized it in a little butter and olive oil. Once the veg were ready, I layered them on the sandwich with some fresh mozzarella, drizzled it with balsamic, and pressed it all together. Wrapped it in plastic and pressed it overnight to let it flatten out and let the flavors mingle. In a few minutes I'll unwrap it, slice it into six smaller sandwiches, and wrap them up. I'm also doing a salad of mixed veg with fennel and merlot lettuce from my garden and a homemade balsamic vinaigrette, and probably some hazelnuts. Dessert needs nothing fancy - fresh Bing cherries are in season, yo! So we'll just nibble on those.

Taking this little picnic to the park and enjoying the weather, and then we have to go pick out roof tiles for our new house. It still feels so weird to say that: "our new house." I don't think it'll really sink in until we close... I'm still terrified this whole thing is going to fall through.

*sheepish smile*

I left again. I suppose every year the days get longer, the rain lets up, and I get distracted from blogging. Then I want to blog but it's hard to know what to come back to after a long absence.

So, catching up, here's me lately. Started a garden and I'm growing some really delicious food. Wearing my collar a bit more and been exploring a deeper submission than I ever thought I'd be happy with - just discovered a really lovely website that reflects my happy marriage ideals at Taken In Hand. Finally went back to blonde (with teal highlights). I took a break from stripping for awhile to do some film work, but am now back to stripping on a part-time basis while I buckle down and finish these two screenplays I've been working on. One of them (I hope) will need to be finished by August.

I turn 30 in a few weeks, which is making me introspective. And I'm pretty stressed out lately because K and I are in the middle of buying a house. If all goes well we should close at the end of the month. I'm excited but also extremely nervous.

I may ask K to issue a rule that I must blog every day. I really do like maintaining this blog, I just need to stop being lazy about it.

General Pleasantry

I haven't posted because I've been running around Oregon with K and S, and then S went home and we've just been unwinding, and tightening our belts for the (hopefully temporary) hard money times we're in. He's off working in L.A., and I've been cooking a lot of healthy stuff to lose weight, mostly soup. I'm on a mission to lose 20 pounds before my 30th birthday this summer. Of course I'd be thrilled if I lost it sooner. To get there, I've cut out alcohol, flour, and sugar, and I'm doing an hour of cardio at least four times a week and also taking a nice long walk almost every day. It's actually not been as bad as I thought it would be, though I do miss bread.

Yesterday was quite nice, I got up at 4 a.m. to take a friend to the airport and went on to have the kind of wonderfully productive day that I always have when I'm out before dawn. I spent an hour and a half just driving around Portland in the pre-dawn quiet, listening to Tom Waits and watching the town wake up (or go to bed). Then I went home, made country-style tofu over polenta with redeye gravy, and spent the day writing. Around mid-afternoon I walked down to the park to watch the ducks and stroll through the gardens, then went home and made a leek-yam crustless pie (it had a crispy pecan topping and was so good). On the way home I even had another encounter with the little bunny who lives in the rosemary bush by the road! After dinner I wrote some more, took a hot bath, read a little of Fugitives and Refugees, and worked on my screenplay some more until bed. Every day should be just like that.

Today hasn't been quite so productive, though I have gotten a little done and I'm currently enjoying a lovely chicken and rice soup loaded with veggies and herbs. I'm working tonight and am enormously glad that Frugal January is over. Life gets better every day!

Good Eats, AND Good Times

So this morning K and S and I all made banana-apple crumb muffins, which turned out delicious! I added cloves, cinnamon, and fresh-ground nutmeg, and S made up a delicious streusel topping with butter and brown sugar. Now we've got a half-dozen left over for later, but I need to pack us a lunch of homemade bread and various cheeses and apples, because we're taking a drive out the Columbia River Highway to see the waterfalls and the rainforest. We'll come home for dinner, which is pecan-crusted tilapia, steamed broccoli with lemon pepper, and rosemary mashed root vegetables.

Yesterday we went to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, which was amusing but overpriced; I'd definitely say it's more focused on little kids than adults, but we still had a good time, and we saw an OMNIMax movie. Afterward we checked out the skate park under the Burnside Bridge and went to happy hour at Urban Fondue for an early tapas-style dinner. K and I have enjoyed showing off Portland, and tomorrow we're taking a nice day trip out to the coast, and Friday we're going to a hockey game. I'm enjoying myself tremendously these days!

Good Eats

K made corn waffles with cranberry-orange-maple syrup this morning. Yum!

Last night I did pumpkin quiche again, with four-seed bread and a cranberry-pecan salad with pomegranate vinaigrette. It was okay, not as good as I hoped... but then there was dessert. I've never made panna cotta before but K bought some vanilla beans awhile back and I wanted to use one. So I made vanilla bean panna cotta, chilled overnight in the fridge, and then I poached dried fruit (apricots, figs, and cherries) in port. I served the hot poached fruits on top of the chilled panna cotta, drizzled with a bit of the port reduction, and it was lovely. We don't often eat dessert but that's definitely one for a repeat the next time we do!

Tonight it'll either be homemade pizzas or pecan-crusted tilapia with broccoli and balsamic-roasted root vegetables. We'll see how we feel after a day of strolling and shopping...

This morning a friend told me that my life was like "a sexy romance novel" and insisted that no one eats like this. Ha... it really made me laugh, and reflect on how much I really do enjoy my life. I could be making more money but everything else is dream-worthy. I have a hot swinger husband who does the dishes, a snuggly cat, plenty of great food and hot sex; I live in a town I love deeply, in the most beautiful corner of America. Life has been a hell of a lot worse for me. Yeah, I've been to hell and back, but I wound up in heaven. I'm glad I had that opportunity this morning for a reminder of how blessed I am these days.

My Collar

I've been asked about my collar a couple of times. "That's pretty. What is it?"

Well, the short answer: A pretty chain with a small padlock on it.
The long answer: It's like a wedding ring, but a lot more intense.

An easier explanation would be to detail what my collar is NOT. It is not a sign that I am K's slave, it is not a mark of degradation, and it is not an invitation to disrespect. I am every bit K's equal; we just occupy different roles. And this collar binds him every bit as much as it binds me. I serve him, I clean his house and cook his food, I put him first in all things, and I devote myself to his needs. But in return, he devotes himself to my needs and puts me before himself. I would not be able to give such devotion if it wasn't reciprocated fully. I still command his unwavering respect and his deepest love. I would not be wearing this collar if I didn't.

So why do I wear it?

I'll admit, it started as a sex thing, yet another BDSM toy. From there we both considered locking it on when K leaves town, to keep me grounded in our marriage while he's gone. He put it on me for the first time on our honeymoon, so I slept in it and have only taken it off for a day or so since. I find that wearing it makes me feel even more secure and cherished, rather like having strong arms wrapped around me all day long. I also like the way it looks - might be a bit goth with my new black hair, but eh, usually it's a vintage goth.

I do have my own key to my collar, so I'm not imprisoned in it. I could remove it if I chose, which is what gives the collar its real meaning in my opinion. It's all about freedom - I can give myself to K because I remain fully my own to give. In that sense, this chain is a symbol of strength, not weakness, and of the deep trust we both have in each other. And that makes it the most beautiful piece of jewelry I own.

Make sure to eat your peas and greens!

It's a long-standing tradition, definitely Southern but I think it's spread, that blackeye peas and greens must be eaten on New Year's Day. The peas bring luck and the greens bring wealth in the coming year. I never questioned this maxim when I was a kid, since blackeye peas and greens are among my favorite foods anyway. One year, 2006, I skipped because we were traveling. 2006 went on to be the worst year of my life. Since then I've never skipped and I hope I never will again.

This year I'm trying a little something different and mixing the peas and greens into one big mess. It's simmering on the stove right now and looking delicious, with honey cornbread in the cast-iron skillet in my oven. If all that's standing between you and a good year is one recipe, then try this one!

MESS O' GREENS AND BLACKEYE PEAS

big glug of olive oil
half an onion, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 dried habanero, crushed thoroughly, or a tablespoon of crushed red pepper flakes
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
salt to taste
1 Tbsp dulse (optional; it's a purple seaweed that tastes just like salt pork)
1 lb mixed greens (mine are collard, mustard, turnip, and spinach)
2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 cans blackeye peas, drained
1/3 cup white wine
1/2 cup veggie chicken broth (or any broth)
1/2 small can tomato sauce

In a big Dutch oven or heavy pot, saute the onions in the olive oil until almost translucent. Add the garlic and spices, and cook for a minute or two. Add in the greens, a handful or two at a time, and keep sauteeing until they're wilted enough so that they all fit in the pot together. Stir in the remaining ingredients and simmer covered 40 minutes, stirring every now and then until done. Serve with cornbread to sop up the juice.

It is a monsoon out there in Portland today. Last night I woke up to the sound of heavy rain, and I snuggled a little closer to K in my warm snug soft bed, and said a little prayer of gratitude for the roof over my head and my warm bed and husband. It's a good year thus far.